The food! It just keeps coming… it will… not… stop… I can’t eat it fast enough! Isn’t that amazing? Today, I’m eating six-day old bagels.
My beloved wife, Anne, makes a wonderful lunch for me to take to work. Nothing fancy; just a salad, a bag of chips, and some cookies. It’ll keep me going until I see her for supper. I put it all in the office refrigerator so it keeps until lunchtime. Some days, it doesn’t even fit in there!
There’s the box of bagels from the supermarket down the street. Next to it is the last of a dozen blueberry muffins someone brought in for their breakfast. There’s a tin foil wrapped package of what looks like slices of pizza. Half gallons of soy milk, cups of cottage cheese, chip dip, packets of mustard, Chinese food leftovers. Well-meaning people looking to save time, save money, or leave it behind in case someone gets hungry or wants to bring it home to the kids.
The thing is, it never goes anywhere! It just sits there and rots. Not to worry; there’s more coming!
I’m eating that six-day old bagel. I’ve been working on that box of bagels since last Thursday when the nice loan officer came in to explain their latest “product,” hoping to win our business. She brought a large fruit tray, sandwiches, the bagels, cupcakes, cookies, and I-can’t-remember-what-else. Some people brought some home, much of it stayed in the refrigerator.
Every day, a modest and charming lunch is sitting on the counter near the door for me to take to work. My wife doesn’t know that the food is backing up. I never take an inventory of what’s at the office since it doesn’t belong to me. But it’s starting to get on my nerves.
I’ve been learning to make Boston Baked Beans to launch a bean supper at church. To make sure nothing goes to waste, Anne and I also learned how to do pressure canning just in case there’s a lot of leftovers. The plan is to keep them in reserve in the event that we get a larger than expected crowd. This weekend, we did a practice run.
We figured that eight one-pound bags of beans would be enough to feed 50 people. We thought they’d fit into a dozen quart-sized canning jars. My word! You can’t believe the amount of beans eight bags of dried beans turn to be. Now I’m going through all these left-over beans and it ain’t pretty!
Same weekend. Anne pulls out the frozen hamburger because we decided to make some cheeseburgers on the grill. Of course, there’s more frozen beef in the package than is necessary for a couple of burgers so she decided to make meatloaf instead. This means that I have to get potatoes and veggies for a side dish. Oh, and the buns have to be frozen now.
Of course, the meatloaf lasts three days, the beans are lasting FOREVER, the daily lunch is backing up, I still have to go through someone’s tin foil pizza, and I’m only finishing up the bagels from the vendor “lunch and learn” from six days ago. Look! Here comes my colleague smiling and singing, “I got more muffins!”
Gosh, there’s such an over-abundance! I’m grateful and guilty. To ease my guilt, I’ve decided to eat this stuff before it goes bad but I simply can’t keep up. Please make it stop. Please donate the money you spent on food that’s only going to waste to a charity that can put it to better use. I’m getting too fat for this.